Leave Everything You Know Behind
There’s a David Whyte poem that begins:
In this high place
It is simple as this,
Leave everything you know behind.
I love this poem because it feels both scary and liberating.
If I left behind everything I know—my familiar beliefs, habits, and identities—who would I be? That can feel terrifying. Yet to release those very constraints might also feel profoundly freeing.
And that’s where this month’s topic comes in: Anger.
Can anger be both limiting and liberating?
Can we choose which it becomes?
Understanding Anger
Anger is something we all experience. It’s a natural human emotion that arises when we feel wronged, disappointed, or threatened.
Some of us were raised in households where anger was loud and constant. Others grew up where anger was forbidden, unsafe, or quietly buried. Either way, those early experiences shape how we relate to this powerful emotion today.
I’m reminded of the story of twins raised by alcoholic parents:
One became an alcoholic, the other never touched a drink.
When asked why, both answered, “Because my parents were alcoholics.”
The same is true for strong emotions—we may repeat what we saw, or swing to the opposite extreme.
When Anger Becomes Limiting
Anger limits us when it becomes habitual and reactive—when it bypasses awareness.
We know it’s limiting because it hurts:
Ourselves (if we’re paying attention), or
Others (if we’re not).
It can show up as yelling, blaming, withdrawing, stomping, or shutting down.
It might even feel satisfying in the moment, but it leaves pain and disconnection in its wake.
When Anger Becomes Liberating
Anger becomes liberating when we experience it as a natural emotion rather than a weapon.
It liberates us when we feel and express it in a healthy, conscious way—without harm, without judgment, without shame.
This shift requires courage and practice. It means doing something unfamiliar, something David Whyte calls “leaving everything you know behind.”
Five Steps to Transform Anger
Give yourself permission to feel angry.
It’s part of being human. Denying it doesn’t make it go away—it just buries it deeper.Own how you feel.
Say, “I feel angry,” instead of “You make me angry.”
That small shift moves you from blame to ownership.Pause.
Yes, it’s hard. But even a 10-second pause is powerful. Count to ten. Step back. Breathe.Breathe.
The breath connects the conscious and subconscious mind. It opens space for choice rather than reaction.Choose a framework that heals:
It’s OK to feel anger.
It’s OK to express it.
It’s NOT OK to hurt others with it.
If needed, create space—step outside, move your body, shake, stomp, breathe.
Give yourself 2–10 minutes to feel and release it in a healthy way.
A healthy expression of emotion moves through in moments.
An unhealthy expression can linger for hours, days, or even lifetimes.
The Practice of Liberation
Choosing to experience and express anger consciously is a courageous act.
It’s how we move from limitation to liberation—from reaction to choice.
In this high place
It is simple as this,
Leave everything you know behind.
Such beautiful advice for anyone ready to create new, healthier patterns in their relationships.